Ye Olde English Blogge

For no particular reason, I’m going to talk about the famous ‘Ye Olde…’ whatever. For example, ‘Ye Olde Shoppe’. It’s not particularly in depth, because that would be incredibly boring, so it’s just a brief, mildly interesting overview because I am bored.

Ye Olde Sign Shoppe

The ‘Ye’ part, we all know, is Old English for ‘The’. Not to be confused with ‘ye’ as in ‘you’ (‘hear ye, hear ye’), it actually started off as þ, or thorn. This Old Norse, Old English, Gothic letter still exists as the 30th letter of the Icelandic alphabet. Similarly to some Arabic letters, the thorn wasn’t/isn’t pronounced as one character, but as the phoneme ‘th’.

The thorn became more simplified as Ƿ around the 14th century (almost identical to the wynn, which was used as a ‘w’ sound). The fact that the digraph (two characters to write one sound (or phoneme)) ‘th’ had started being used more commonly than the thorn meant that by the time the printing press was invented, they had no letter thorn. Thus, because of the aforementioned simplification of the thorn, they decided that the letter ‘Y’ looked close enough in blackletter, or Gothic script, and used that instead.

To save space, ‘the’ was printed as Ye (except actually superscripted, which WordPress doesn’t seem to know how to do). Yt was also used, meaning ‘that’.

So, we now see that ‘Ye’ is actually not pronounced ‘ye’, but…’the’. Equally, when we see a sign these days, such as ‘Ye Olde Shoppe’ – which obviously no shop would ever have been called back when ‘ye’ was actually used – both ‘olde’ and ‘shoppe’ are simply bad spellings. Except for the intentionally faux-archaic usage – as the aforementioned sign would be – we don’t pronounce it ‘oldie’ and ‘shoppie’, but rather ‘old’ and ‘shop’.

In short, ‘Ye Olde Shoppe’ would simply be pronounced ‘the old shop’.

Now wasn’t that interesting. I’m not using a question mark there as it would invite response.

Knights of the Old Republic III

More dead than ever?

Knights of the Old Republic

So it seems as though Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 3 is more dead than ever. You may have gathered that from the subheading. A while ago, I wrote a blog for Uproar Comics about why the galaxy needs KOTOR 3, so if you’ve read that you’ll know that this news does not please me one bit.

In a move that shows just how clueless and out of touch BioWare has become, the developer has announced the newest expansion for their underwhelming MMORPG (massively multiplayer online role-playing game, duh!), The Old Republic. And it’s pretty much the death knell for KOTOR 3.

SPOILERS for both KOTOR 1 and 2 ahead!

As anyone who has played the first two games will know that the Knights of the Old Republic series follows the Dark Lord Revan. The first game deals with the aftermath of Revan’s rule over the Empire, now in the hands of his second, Darth Malak. Over the course of the game, it is revealed that your player character is, in fact, Revan. He was not defeated by the Jedi, as is the official story, but rather he was so damaged in Malak’s traitorous attack on him that the Jedi were able to create his identity anew.

The player of course chooses whether the Jedi formerly known as Revan will continue to be a Jedi or return to his dark-side ways. No matter the choice made, KOTOR II: The Sith Lords kicks off sometime after Revan has left the galaxy. Although you don’t play as, or even encounter him in KOTOR II, your player character – the Exile – kind of lives in his shadow.

The Exile fought alongside Revan, and we soon learn that the elderly Jedi Master who takes him under her wing taught Revan. She led him down the path of the Dark Side, until he betrayed her. She is, basically, trying to recreate Revan in the Exile.

KOTOR 2 Art

But that’s beside the point. The story of Revan in KOTOR II is that he left the galaxy, sensing something far worse than the Empire out there in dark space. We are led to believe (or perhaps outright told, I forget) that what he senses is the real Sith; the Sith species, not the pretenders in the Empire who call themselves Sith.

So back to the TOR expansion, and the premise is that Revan has returned to the galaxy far, far away. And he arrives at the head of an apocalyptic cult bent on the destruction of both the Republic and the Empire, the Jedi and the Sith.

That could certainly be the true Sith. But no matter what it is, the fact is that if they are continuing/finishing Revan’s story in this not-too-popular MMO, what chance is there of Knights of the Old Republic 3? Very little, it saddens me to think.

It doesn’t make sense to me. First off, wouldn’t now-ish be the perfect time to bring out the game? Star Wars Episode VII is coming out next year, after all. And what better Star Wars game to make than KOTOR 3 – the game that the vast majority of RPG/BioWare fans have wanted since KOTOR II came out in 2005.

On top of that, it seems as though BioWare are working on a Star Wars title. I’m not entirely sure of this, but BioWare’s Wikipedia page lists such a title as in development, and the source they use is a blog post on EA’s website, which does seem to say that. It could be a case of bad wording, but it seems like they’re making a Star Wars game. So, what the hell could they be working on that they think it’s more worthy than a sequel to one of the most popular series ever? That might be an exaggeration.

Yes, I know I wasn’t consistent with my numerals! I don’t care!

For more on BioWare, and their fall from grace, I wrote about that for Uproar too!

The Old Republic

The Root of Evil: My Attempted Murder

Wednesday. It was a muggy, grey evening. I’d settled down with a home-made juice, hoping to be a little healthier than usual. Before my turkey and chips. I was going to play some Deus Ex and then watch a film. And then my assailant struck! I was covered in red. I was vomiting red everywhere. I was dizzy and light-headed. I was dying!

Beetroot!

That or chard. Or tomato. Or one of the other 5 or so fruits and vegetables in the juice. But I think beetroot. It did, with malice aforethought, enter my person and try to induce anaphylactic shock.

It’s probably just as well it was a juice, as it was thrown back up quickly and easily, and the red colour let me pretend it was very serious. Even so, about 60% of my body became bright red and itchy, parts of my face swelled, I overheated, I threw up, the light-headedness required me to lie down on a nice cold floor, I threw up some more, I had to lie down again before I passed out, then I threw up some more. For just a few seconds, I felt tingling in my tongue and thought it was upgrading to full-blown anaphylaxis, but thankfully it went away and the hospital was unnecessary. I think I’d rather suffocate than go back there anyway.

So raw beetroot appears to be some form of Kryptonite. Sadly, I didn’t sleep well even after that, and wrote about six words in the entirety of the next day. So although I’m perfectly fine again, don’t let that stop you feeling very sorry for me. It makes me extremely glad not to have a peanut allergy, or something like that.

Anyway, I’m a writer, so it’s my duty to write about experiences like this, and if that leads to sympathy and hugs then that’s how it has to be.

Reviews and Amazon Rants

It means a lot to get good reviews. It means quite a lot to get a good rating, though slightly less than a well thought out review. It also means a lot when Amazon decides ‘f*** you, we don’t like you having nice things, so we’ll delete your best reviews’. Though it means a lot in a different way.

They’ve been doing this for a while now on Amazon itself, and since taking over Goodreads, they’ve started doing it there. I’m certainly not the only one noticing the reviews disappearing – and only ever 5-star reviews, it seems. I can’t speak for the deleted reviews of others, but the ones that have disappeared from mine have been from review bloggers, writing detailed, unbiased reviews. Not family members raving about how the books are the best things ever.

Amazon has claimed before that they won’t allow authors to post reviews on books in the same genre as they themselves write. Aside from the fact that this is pathetically stupid and is pretty much censorship, it doesn’t seem to be enforced. My best reviews are written by a sci-fi author, and they’re still there.

Other authors have contacted Amazon to demand to know why this is happening, and Amazon claim ignorance. They say that it’s most likely because of the reviewers removing the reviews, accidentally reviewing the book – I can’t quite get my head around that one – or leaving the site (Goodreads). That doesn’t quite allow for the fact that I asked one reviewer if she knew why her review had disappeared from my book on Amazon, she emailed Amazon to ask why, they said they would put it back, and then never bothered. So what the hell are they playing at?

But that’s enough ranting about the somewhat disgraceful Amazon.

I received one such review just the other day, from The Review Hart. I requested the review months ago – just after I published Acts of Violence, in fact. She scheduled me for August, and I forgot about it. With terms like ‘haunting’, ‘spectacular’, ‘gripping’, and ‘fantastic’ dotted throughout, the review turned out to be very much worth the wait. And it’s a 4-star review which means A) people are more likely to pay attention to it than a 5-star, and B) it’s less likely to be deleted by Amazon.

In fact, reading the review kind of made me want to read the book!

In other news, we have a more definite date for the next anthology, Wyrd Worlds II: September 20-21. Mine will be the first story in the book, and is a sequel to Kira.

Days of Winter Guardians

I have left it so long since the last blog post that the whole layout of this New Post screen has changed. But anyway, it’s time to update the world on my goings on and allow you to unbate your breath.

The main, important things are that I have now finished my second short story featuring Kira. It is tentatively entitled ‘Kira Part 2′. Or ‘Horizon’. It will be first published in the sequel to last year’s anthology: ‘Wyrd Worlds II’. The exact date isn’t known just yet, but it will likely be as soon as this September! So I should probably get started on the cover.

The second important thing is that I’ve been writing a number of blog articles for Uproar Comics, hence why I’m even more quiet than usual here. I’ve been writing about a range of subjects, from the usual films, TV and games, to extraterrestrial life and the Mariana Trench. If you’re interested, which…why would you NOT be, they can all be found here.

And now for the all-important film update! I’ve watched several films in the past couple of months, some of them crap and some of them good.

Captain America 2: Winter Solder is good. Very good. Damn good. I think it’s tied for second place in my list of best Marvel films with Guardians of the Galaxy. The Avengers is better, I think. The only downside is that I guessed the big twist before the film was even released.

Guardians of the Galaxy is also good. Very good. I should probably say damn good, too, because it’s tied with Captain Freedom. It’s not the typical Marvel film, yet ties in with the Marvel universe well. I expected it to be pretty bad purely, simply, because of Chris Pratt. He seemed from the trailers to be an incredibly irritating…prat. But, in fact, he was pretty decent. Personally, I think Nathan Fillion would actually have been better in the role, but it doesn’t matter. It was damn good. And very funny.

X-Men: Days of Future Past was…actually a bit of a let down. Probably mostly because of how much people raved about it, and claimed it was the best Marvel film yet. It isn’t. There are several better ones in my opinion, including at least two previous X-Men films. But it was pretty good. Wolverine was in it, so that was good. But it didn’t feel like a superhero film at all. It was mostly talking, and shouting, and running around. The scenes in the future seem to be there more because they realised how boring the main film was in terms of action, so stuck them in there to keep people interested. And Quicksilver was pointless. But, good acting and a decent enough story. I’m not entirely sure what to think of it, so it’s just as well I’m not giving it a star rating.

Machete Kills. Surprisingly entertaining and amusing.

Amazing Spider-Man 2 was terrible. The worst Marvel film yet, perhaps. Not quite as bad as I’ve heard people say, but terrible. Electro, or whatever his name was, was a complete joke of a villain. Foxx played him well, but the character himself was just ridiculous. I can’t even be bothered to explain why. Plus, spoilers. The conclusion of the relationship with Gwen Stacy wasn’t quite what I expected, but it was ruined by the stupid ending.

So, that’s that. Look out for Kira in Wyrd Worlds II next month. Probably.

The Short Goodbye

It’s the end of an era. It’s the closing chapter. It’s game over, man! Game over! It’s…a really good analogy that makes you feel sad even though you don’t know why yet.

For about…I don’t know, say two years, I’ve shared an office two or three days a week with Uproar Comics, Startacus and Troll Inc. Now we’re being unceremoniously kicked out of said office. Our new room is a dank little hole in the ground with little natural light, and it ain’t big enough for the four of us.

Thus, Uproar and Troll Inc. are departing for greener pastures. Gone will be the geeky cross-room conversations about films, games, TV, and what makes a superhero. Gone will be the awful puns, the amusing arguments, the snort-riddled giggling (leading to more laughing and points on the snort-o-meter). Gone will be my friends.

Through our proximity, I have shared ideas, been inspired, laughed a lot, received work, donated work, helped, been helped, learnt, and been shot at with Nerf guns. Until the end of the day, there are about 25 of us in the office, and I’d like to call a good chunk of them friends. The social anxiety…thing…agoraphobia, whatever, in me knows that’s a lot more than someone like me can generally hope to have. And the fact that I could be in the midst of that many people and not want them to f*** off quickly says more about them than about me.

We’ve known for only couple of weeks that we’re being kicked out of the office, so we haven’t had a lot of time for the fact to sink in, and to prepare. Then again, things don’t tend to mean as much to other people as they do to me, so I’ll wrap this up quickly and get back to writing something worthwhile.

I don’t like change. I didn’t like it when Troll Inc. came in. I didn’t like it when Startacus came in. I didn’t like it when Uproar came in. I liked the quiet. I wished they had found somewhere else to go and left me on my own in the office. Now, in the quiet of an empty office, I wish they’d stay.

But it’s not all gloom. Well, it is, literally speaking, because there’s just one small window at the top of our new office, but Startacus will remain with me in our new little dungeon. So the laughing will continue, just with fewer voices. And no snorts.

So, apart from hauling computers and desks around, there’s only one thing left:

Danny, Gio, Heather, Holly, Jonny, Michael ‘The Beard’, Ruth, Ciaran, Richard, Andrew, Marcus, Jim, Emma, Gavin, Thomas, Ryan, Felix, Tom, Lewis, music one, and the other few I don’t know the names of… Goodbye.

Cam, Eoin, Philip…we need a new coffee machine.

Frozen Croods

Having watched about twenty minutes of The Croods last night, before having to turn it off because it was so incredibly boring, I am now thinking about writing a blog detailing just why Frozen is so grossly overrated. I my ever so humble opinion, of course.

So, I will do that. But not now. Just thought I’d say…that I will.

EDIT: I have now written said rant about Frozen. I have posted it over at Uproar Comics’ blog, here.

Frozen